Last whispers before the snowstorm.

watching how i met your mother now (when i really should go out and get dinner), but this line is just quite amazing, despite being the truth that everybody knows:

you can’t cling on to the past, because no matter how hard you try to hold on to it, it’s already gone.

haha. so people, move forward!

End of holiday finally. Finally got time to tidy my room a bit today. Reorganised my wardrobe so now I have more space to stock up new clothes! haha. was thinking about getting a bookshelf but scapped the idea in the end because I’d rather get another chest of drawers for more clothes.. lol. Well.. for CIMA books I will just box them HAHA. 

Also did some shopping today. why is it so hard for me to get something I really like? So annoyed.. I shall shop again on asos later.. 

then I realised, the emptiness I have when alone in the UK can be quite scary sometimes. 

Only hate the road when you’re missing home.

do i miss you? yes. do i want you back? no.

hahahahahha. i am high now. sg tmr!!!!!!!  yeahhhhhh. 

on a side note, dirty tricks in Malaysia are ridiculously publicly done by politicians without any shame or whatsoever. Sad day for Malaysians as they have their hopes dashed again. 

At the same time, Hong Kong is no better. We have no democracy to start with. And I have no hopes in it either. Nothing to dash. 

i was probably having mood swing ytd =.= i have my period soon lol.

I was asked today whether I am really okay or not, whether I am really happy or not.

I don’t know. I thought I was super happy until I got asked that question. 

Maybe that’s why I have been eating and binge eating so much. hm..

getting fat. damn. 

HAHA. was planning to go clubbing with friends last night. turned out predrinks at my place became a house party. we never left my place, but got drunk playing Wii drinking games and innuendos hahahaha. damn funny. Haven’t had so much fun in a while. Wii is really the best party game! we just kept dancing, racing, playing bowling and tennis. and made up rules and supporting teams to make people drink. lol.

so so grateful that I had such a good group of colleagues :) best thing ever since I started my job. I hope we will continue to be like this, even though we’ll get busier and busier haha. 

Best part is, I still had energy to get up early and meet them for squash this morning. hahhaa. so fun. so fulfilling :) 

I have to calm down. been out and about too much. I really have saved no money since December! this is bad.. hahahhaa. and I am going back to HK soon ><

I just really enjoy going out, meeting old friends, meeting new friends so much and I have almost left no time for myself every weekend. My room is poorly organised, I didn’t bother cleaning my flat. My life is almost out of order. I have got forms and letters to read..list goes on. 

Sister was here for the last ten days. Having her here is like having someone pointing me to the right direction again. I was lost about my situation with Eddie, and I have been too busy every weekend I am shattered. She made me buy books to read, she told me to slow down and just enjoy it. So yes. From now on, I will just slow down and enjoy quiet weekends. (although, I still won’t give up every opportunity to socialise, it’s just that, i will calm down a lot more, no more triple booking)

I really have so much to update SD when I am back haha :)

the last few weeks spending time with eddie was amazing. it was some really happy memories.

yesterday he told me, there were a few mornings, when he got up next to me, he really wanted to ask me to be his girlfriend. but his worries pulled him back. he didn’t want to commit unless he thinks we can get married in the future (?), and he wish we didn’t have so many mutual friends, he cannot be bold enough to take the risk and tell all our mutual friends about us.

so we broke up. it’s ended. finished.

I am surprisingly calm now. maybe from the very beginning i was already aware that he was quite selfish to start with..

I tried hard not to fall too hard for him..

and now, truth is, he didn’t try hard enough to get me. I think I deserve better. I really do. I want a guy who can tell the world about us, and tell them to fuck off and mind their own business.

he really did tick many of my boyfriend criteria boxes. but he failed the practical test haha.  i have my life back now. this is the first thing that came into my head when I went home after breaking up with him yesterday.